Victim | Survivor | Thriver |
Doesn't deserve nice things or trying for the "good life." | Struggling for reasons and chance to heal | Gratitude for everything in life |
Low Self Esteem/Shame/Unworthy | Sees self as wounded and healing | Sees self as an overflowing miracle |
Hyper Vigilant | Using tools to learn to relax | Gratitude for new life |
Alone | Seeking help | Oneness |
Feels Selfish | Deserves to seek help | Proud of Healthy Self Caring |
Damaged | Naming what happened | Was wounded and now healing |
Confusion and numbness | Learning to grieve, grieving past ungrieved trauma | Grieving at current losses |
Overwhelmed by past | Naming and grieving what happened | Living in the present |
Hopeless | Hopeful | Faith in self and life |
Uses outer world to hide from self | Stays with emotional pain | Understands that emotional pain will pass and brings new insights |
Hides their story | Not afraid to tell their story to safe people | Beyond telling their story, but always aware they have created their own healing with HP |
Believes everyone else is better, stronger, less damaged | Comes out of hiding to hear others and have compassion for them and eventually self | Lives with an open heart for self and others |
Often wounded by unsafe others | Learning how to protect self by share, check, share | Protects self from unsafe others |
Places own needs last | Learning health needs (See Healing the Child Within and Gift to Myself) | Places self first realizing that is the only way to function and eventually help others |
Creates one drama after another | See Patterns | Creates peace |
Believes suffering is the human condition | Feeling some relief, knows they need to continue in recovery | finds joy in peace |
Serious all the time | Beginning to laugh | Seeing the humor in life |
Uses inappropriate humor, including teasing | Feels associated painful feelings instead | Uses healthy humor |
Uncomfortable, numb or angry around toxic people | Increasing awareness of pain and dynamics | Healthy boundaries around toxic people, incl. relatives |
Lives in the past | Aware of patterns | Lives in the Now |
Angry at religion | Understanding the difference between religion and personal spirituality | Enjoys personal relationship with the God of their understanding |
Suspicious of therapists projects | Sees therapist as guide during projections | Sees reality as their projection and owns it. |
Needs people & chemicals to believe they are all right | Glimpses of self-acceptance and fun without others | Feels authentic and connected, Whole |
"Depression" | Movement of feelings | Aliveness |
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